Nine Billion Names of…

Okay, I don’t have quite that many. Yet.

I’ll admit, I have a bit of a problem with names. I’ve had a few — given names, middle names, nicknames, and the like — over the course of a lifetime, but nothing has ever quite felt like me. And so, pretty much as soon as I started writing seriously, I started thinking about trading up — what would I name myself if I could pick any name in the world?

Plenty of admirable writers throughout history have been known by names other than the ones their parents gave them: Anthony Burgess, Lewis Carroll, Joseph Conrad, George Eliot, Molière, George Orwell, just to name a few of my own favorites. In days past, authors might seek to conceal their identities from fear of political repercussions, scandal, or prejudice. Nowadays, though, pen names aren’t so common. Indeed, the whole concept seems to have fallen into ill-repute — after all, why wouldn’t you use your real name? Are you ashamed of what you write? Or are you ashamed of who you are?

But what if you’re just not wild about your name? What if you just want something a little more glamorous? A little more literary?

There is one problem with picking your own name, though: there doesn’t seem much reason to hold onto it, once it’s lost some of its shine. When my first novel went on submission to editors, I decided to call myself Alma, after Alma Werfel, whom I knew and admired primarily thanks to the Tom Lehrer song. Her name was reasonably close to mine, but more distinctive — and who wouldn’t want to make all modern women jealous?

But when that book didn’t sell, I found myself feeling distanced from the name. I still had a fine future in front of me — Alma, however, was clearly a hack.

For my next novel, I went a different direction. I’d heard a rumor that, even in this day, there were certain books that sold better from male authors, and the thought struck fear into me — what if my brilliant novel was being ignored for no better reason than my sex? Not the most likely theory, but an attractive one, because that was a much easier problem to fix than a sluggish plot. In a nod to Sand and Eliot, I took on George as my new moniker, and sent the second book out.

And when that didn’t take? I’m not going to say it was George’s fault, but he certainly didn’t help, and I’d say we’ve grown rather less fond of each other since the ordeal. So — sorry, George! But it’s off to the pen name graveyard with you.

And now here I am, set to head back out into madness, and I’m trying to change things up a bit. For once, why not stick my own name on something?

Well, it turns out there is one modern reason why an author might want to change her name. My current name brings up 4,980,000 google hits, not one of which is referring to me; Amy Ross is just too damn common in this age of electronic searches. So I’ve solved the problem by rooting around in my family history: Introducing Amy Danziger Ross, who hopefully will have the modern magic combination of being easy to spell, easy to pronounce, easy to remember, and easy to google. (And hey, it wouldn’t hurt if she sold a book this time… I’m tired of coming up with new names.)

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 28th, 2010 at 11:19 pm and is filed under books, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.