japan Archive

Use the Word Sweat.

By amy ross | Filed in japan, signs

DORFladies use the word sweat when they feel it best for their best.”

I feel a little bad posting this, because there are whole corners of the web devoted to making fun of Japanese attempts at English, and they can give an unfair impression… Once upon a time, it might have been common to find signs in such garbled English as to be incomprehensible, but nowadays it seems as though nearly every English notice has been composed with great care.

Nearly every.

I have no idea what’s going on here. It’s a sign for a European-style coffee shop — why are we talking about sweat? Or ladies?  The only thing I can guess is that this may be a common Japanese proverb or something which… just doesn’t translate.

Like it wasn’t bad enough that they named their cafe “DORF”.

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Happy Belated Birthday

By amy ross | Filed in food, japan

It may be Christmas Eve Eve in the Western world, but yesterday was a national holiday in Japan — the Emperor’s birthday!  I asked M.’s host how this holiday is traditionally celebrated, and he said, “Hmm.  The emperor comes on TV.  Everyone stays home to watch.  It’s not very exciting.”

He made it much more exciting for us by taking us and another couple out to a wonderful restaurant meal — after first checking multiple times to be sure I was willing to eat traditional Japanese food.  I assured him this would not be a problem.  :)  It’s a little tragic though, because every dish was beautiful — but I didn’t take any pictures because I didn’t want to look like a total dweeb.   I did, however, do my best to retain a detailed list of what we had:

We started with a little bento-style dish with six tiny aperitifs: mushrooms with I think red-bean-dyed tofu chunks? and little chunks of squid (ika), and half a brussel sprout with chopped red pepper, and daikon slices with sweet black beans. And I don’t remember the other two.

Then we had incredibly delicate thin sliced white fish in some kind of fruity marinade with chopped cucumber and shrimp.  At the same time they brought plates of raw duck breast with sprouts, shoots, and a fresh tofu cube, which we dipped in a pot of hot oil to cook. The duck was delicious, and the tofu amazing — smooth and silky! Tofu is usually so dull in the States, but it’s a completely different experience in Japan. Not that I’m any tofu expert or anything, but in my experience.

Then they brought out bowls of fruit chunks (pear, plum, pineapple?) with a slice of camembert all in yogurt sauce. This actually worked surprisingly well together, and we all pretty much thought it was the end of the meal, because it was a sweet. BUT NO.

Because then they brought out little bowls with lightly steamed daikon, broccoli, and big fat oysters.

Then came little clementines that had been carved out and filled with shrimp roe, with a whole shrimp artfully capping the dish.

The came little ramekins filled with what can only be described as shepard’s pie. It was like a tomato-y vegetable sauce topped with mashed potatoes and maybe a little cheese and then baked. So like… western? But done in this incredibly delicate and delectable way that could only be Japanese.

And then, just when I thought things were winding down, they brought out huge plates of sushi! I mean, they were probably only slightly bigger than standard size sushi dishes in America, but after all the other food… wow. And the salmon, instead of being on a rectangle of rice, was draped over a little ball of rice and looked like an adorable little animal. And there was tomago (egg) and shrimp and mackerel and unagi (eel) and ika (squid), and a fried tofu roll. I managed to finish everything but the tofu roll… yum but also a ton of food! And then M.’s colleague’s wife was like, “yeah, I can’t eat more than a piece or two of this, do you want it?” and he wound up eating most of hers, too.

Then came a very smooth, light pannacotta with red bean sauce, along with a teeny tiny scoop of matcha (green tea) ice cream. And kocha (black tea).

And with it all, we started with big glasses of Asahi beer, then moved on to many different kinds of sake… when M.’s boss found out we’d been drinking minimart sake, he insisted we try sakes from every region of japan, both cold and hot. Lovely!

And the whole thing was served on low tables and tatami mats and we exchanged gifts and talked about Idaho and bears and stuff.  All in all, an amazing dinner…  And now as I pack up to spend a very long Christmas day on planes and in airports, I at least feel as though I’ve had a real holiday meal.

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Centipedes? In My Shoes?

By amy ross | Filed in japan, signs

It’s more likely than you think.

Japan is reputed to be one of the safest places in the world, and aside from the very occasional purse-snatcher, there is nothing to fear.

Except centipedes and monkeys.

Centipedes

Carful of Centipedes

Signs like these are up all over M.‘s dorm. I particularly enjoy the image of a carful of centipedes, even if that’s not actually what they meant.

DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT

MONKEY WARNING: Be sure to lock your window.  DO NOT leave food items/scraps on balconies or around house.   DO NOT approach monkeys.  DO NOT make eye contact with them.  Monkeys will aim at your combini bag which you’d better hide from their eyes.

But wait, aren’t monkeys cute and friendly? Apparently not these guys — they’ll knock you over and steal your convenience store snacks without a moment’s remorse. M. says he saw one at the bank the other day (okay, near the bank — he wasn’t working as a teller or anything) and he was huge and grumpy-looking, like an angry old man. M. did try to avoid eye contact, but the monkey gave him a dirty look anyway. Here’s a picture of them hanging out in a hot spring.

If you have to handle monkey droppings

Since undoubtedly you will have to handle monkey droppings at some point in your life, I consider this a public service.

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Junk from Japan

By amy ross | Filed in food, japan

(food, that is)

There’s a ton of delicious food here in Japan, but some of the cheapest and most interesting tidbits can be found in local “combini” — not an Italian term, as it might appear, but a Japanese corruption of “convenience stores”. This stuff may not always be the healthiest or most traditional foodstuffs on offer, but the combination of appealing salty/sweet flavors, idiosyncratic packaging, and wee prices make them hard to resist. Here’s a sampling of my favorites — I’ll try to limit myself to only a few.

ketchup/mustard

Okay this is amazing. It a little double pouch of mustard and ketchup; squeeze it in two, and both condiments come out side by side — ideal for drawing perfect flavor lines along a delicious corn dog.

Banana

I’m always charmed by food that does what it says. This little cake is shaped like a banana, has BANANA writ large upon it, and is made of banana-flavored cake stuffed with banana cream filling. A semiotically brilliant deconstruction of the relationship between signifier and signified.

Crunk

I’m mostly entertained by this because the name makes me think of something best drunk of a pimp cup. But it’s just a line of crunchy chocolate things.

Chocolate Crabs!

I really really REALLY wanted this snack to be actual, chocolate-covered crabs. Sadly, it’s just a perfectly ordinary cake shaped like a crab. Which begs the question, why do you want your snack cakes shaped like crabs? It’s anyone’s guess, pretty much.

stuff?

Think the combinis here have nothing but packaged junk food? WRONG. They also have junk food that sits in mysterious liquid all day under heating lamps. I got this because I thought it might be a vegetable — some kind of tuber, perhaps? — but M. insists it’s an animal product. Tripe, he says, but that’s a damn big intestine, if so. My best guess is that it’s a chopped-off, marinated Cthulu tentacle. Whatever it was, it was tasty.

Plenty more where that came from, but I don’t want this page to take 800 years to load.  Stay tuned!

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Kyoto Cityscape

By amy ross | Filed in japan, scenery

(Note: the previous entry has been updated to include a disclaimer about the snopes page I linked.  After reading it more closely, I decided it needed to be addressed directly.)

When M. told people he was moving to Kyoto, a lot of Americans expressed dismay.  “Japan must be so unpleasant,” they worried.  “You know, it’s wall-to-wall people, there.”  Okay, so…  I know what they’re thinking of.  They’re picturing something like the Shinjuku area of Tokyo, home to some of the busiest intersections in the world.

Well, Kyoto isn’t Tokyo, for one thing. And where M. is living and working hardly even counts as Kyoto. This is his office building:

landscape
(click here for larger)

And here are some views from campus.

mountains
(larger)

mountains
(larger)

The university is up on the hill; down in the valley, you can see the residential area, and then forested mountains beyond. Basically, this area is less hyper-modern city and more traditional Japanese nature landscape.

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Corn Choco Madness

By amy ross | Filed in food, japan

Americans love to tell exciting stories about Japan.  Before I came here the first time, everyone wanted to warn me about the vending machines that sell used underwear*.  (Oh hey my statcounter is going to have fun with that…)  And yeah, according to snopes, I guess that story is real, but let me tell you, they must put those machines somewhere special because I have not seen them.

What I do see, once about every 50 ft, is vending machines that sell HOT DRINKS.  In cans!  It’s utter craziness, and I want to know why no one in the States told me about this miracle of modern technology.

Corn Choco

See that can there?  That’s hot chocolate (or as they say here, hotto chyokoruto)…  from an ordinary vending machine!  They also have many exotic flavors of coffee and tea.  So it’s just like Starbucks, but without that annoying conversation about how venti means big and you should really know that by now.

Also, Corn-Choco is delicious.  It’s basically Corn Pops coated in chocolate, and rarely have I tasted a more satisfying treat.  Oh man, I just realized that’s an economy pack.  Was it supposed to last me all month?

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*ETA: a warning if you wind up clicking that snopes link — it’s correct about the specifics (yes, dirty vending machines really do exist), but the rest of the article is completely uninformed, racist fearmongering.  For some reason, Americans have a need to view the Japanese as creepy, bizarre, and incomprehensible; maybe it makes them seem less threatening?  But the truth is, yeah, there are perverts in Japan, just like there are perverts in every other country in the world.  Yes, sometimes women here are sexualized and objectified — just like everywhere else. Is this a defining element of the culture?  Absolutely not.  There are a ton of fascinating cultural differences between Japan and America, but ultimately, the Japanese are as friendly, helpful, and generally normal as any population I’ve encountered.

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Big in Japan

By amy ross | Filed in food, japan

If you came here looking for the English manual for the SH001 phone, it can be found here: http://www.au.kddi.com/torisetsu/pdf/sh001/sh001_basic_e.pdf

It’s snowing right now in Northern Idaho, but I’m not bothered…  because I’m visiting M. in Kyoto for school break.   Or rather…  I’ve decided I need to stop telling people I’m in Kyoto, because it conjures up images of monumental shrines and kimono-clad geishas.  In fact, I’m hanging out in an area of Kyoto so remote, it might as well be just an ordinary little town.  There’s a Circle K and a car mechanic and a medium sized grocery store a few miles away.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t an adventure…  Yesterday, for example, we took a bus to the nearest shopping mall to buy M. a mobile phone.  No easy feat, with a language barrier the size of Rocky Mountains!  The sales girls were sweet but as daunted by the situation as we were.  Still, we kept our spirits up and managed to cross the great cultural divide.

First lucky break: we found a booklet that had an English section that described the plans available, and M. was able to indicate which one he wanted.  Then the girls informed us with wild and cheerful gesturing that “Each Yen!  Each Yen!”, which we eventually came to understand meant that certain phones could be had for one yen, when purchased along with a 2yr plan.  And there was much rejoicing.

Then the girls had a few more logistical questions for us, and one of them came up with the genius plan of typing them into her own cellphone and using a dictionary app to translate them into English.  This got us past a few more steps — then the girls called a service number and, by requesting an English-speaking agent, got us patched through to a call center in India.  The Indian guy asked us the necessary set-up questions in English, then entered the answers into his computer system, whereupon a Japanese agent could interpret them and pass them along to the sales girls.  Phew.

Then M. was handed some forms to fill out, all in Japanese characters, natch.  His two months of studying served him well enough, and he was able to copy his name and address off his ID card, with only minor corrections from the sales girls.  Then they sent us away for an hour while they charged the phone, and when we came back, they had not only switched the phone’s interface language to English, they had picked up a few new phrases themselves!  I think they must have done a quick brush-up revision while we were gone…

And then, at the end of it all, M. had a new phone!

The Sharp sh001 8 megapixel camera phone.  But in BRIGHT RED.

Camera Phone!

Not available outside Japan. Now the only problem is finding an English-language instruction manual.

Then to celebrate we went out for okonomiyaki and beer.

okonomiyake

Yum.

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