telepathic paranoia

May

Fan Mail

By amy ross | Filed in authors, writing | 6 comments

A couple of years ago, I made a resolution to start writing fan mail to my favorite authors and artists.

Though it may sound selfish, I imagined it as paying into some karmic appreciation fund — some day, I hope to have readers who are sufficiently moved and inspired by my words that they will seek me out and tell me as much. By the same token, don’t I have an obligation to let the people who have inspired me (those who are still living, anyway) know how I have been affected by their work? Wouldn’t any writer be thrilled to hear such a thing? Of course it’s all very well and fulfilling, I’m sure, to hear that you’ve “moved a lot of product” in the past fiscal quarter. But ultimately, I imagine that most writers would value a note of heartfelt appreciation at least as much as a royalty statement.

A nice resolution, and not too difficult — these days, with email addresses posted so prominently on most authors’ websites, nothing could be easier than dashing off a quick little message of thanks.

But then the months came and went, and I think I sent a total of two. Or wait, maybe one? The other might be languishing in my drafts folder. Why was I having so much trouble with what seemed like a simple task?

I don’t know, maybe I overthought it. My first instinct had just been to send notes saying, essentially, “I love your work.” But that seemed so bland and insincere. If I received a note like that, it might bring a smile to my face, but would probably be forgotten by lunchtime. No, I wanted to go deeper — I wanted to tell these authors how fully I understood them and felt understood by them… how deeply I engaged with the project of their writing.

That’s where I ran into trouble. Because… what if I got it wrong? Or rather, not wrong exactly, but what if my understanding of the book was in fact totally different from what the author intended? As legitimate as my interpretation might be, it ran the risk of pissing off the author more than pleasing him. Which was pretty much the opposite of my intention.

So I was torn — send out vapid platitudes in hopes of remaining inoffensive? Or engage with the text in all its problematic glory, and run the risk of incurring the author’s wrath? Or maybe just avoid the trouble by keeping my big mouth shut?

So I went with the third option. But I wonder sometimes what the authors would say. Do authors have stories of “fan mail” which left them more annoyed than flattered? For what it’s worth, if I’m ever in their position, I’d rather hear something than nothing, and I would actually love to hear every odd or idiosyncratic interpretation of my work. But I lack confidence that others feel the same way.

Tags: fan mail, I dunno, I'm sick of trying to come up with relevant tags for everything I write authors books fandom, stuff

May

7 Microfiction Monday

By amy ross | Filed in microfiction | 7 comments

oh hey, classes are (almost) over, so I’m trying to get back on the horse. the blog horse. you know. anyway, we read some micro-fiction in my workshop this semester, and I was inspired to give it a shot. god willing, this will become a regular feature, and you can all watch me struggle with a brand new genre. be nice.

White Lie

When I was a kid, my aunt had this dog I just loved. Pretty little lap dog, all big eyes and fluffy fur – like a toy come to life. I only saw him a few times a year, but when we visited, I’d take him for walks and chase him up and down the stairs. Then one time when we visited, he wouldn’t run up the stairs anymore. Couldn’t get up on the couch without help.

Then next time I visited, my aunt told me the dog had gotten old, so she sent him away to live on a farm. Well, you’ve probably heard this story before – the classic thing grown-ups say to kids so they don’t have to tell them a pet died.

But when you’re a kid, you don’t know about those stories, and it doesn’t occur to you that anyone is trying to protect you. So for years, I walked around thinking my aunt was some kind of horrible person who’d give away a sick, old dog.

Tags: cute dog, flash fiction, microfiction, shih tzu, short short

Apr

2 The Seamy Side of MFAs

By amy ross | Filed in writing | 2 comments

All right, here’s a hoary old subject that has been done to death: MFA programs — are they valid?

The most recent incarnation of this question has been brought to you courtesy of Lionel Shriver, who tells Big Think that, despite having gone through an MFA program herself, and having had what appears to have been a pretty good time, she considers there to be “something a little corrupt… something unwholesome” in them.

Corrupt and unwholesome? Why that’s… that’s… perfectly delicious. Frankly, it makes me wonder if I’m not getting invited to the right parties.

nobutseriously. I understand what she means, about teachers teaching students to become teachers who teach students and oh was there some writing in there? There is something slightly claustrophobic — incestuous, even* — about the idea of going directly from writing student to writing teacher without ever making one’s living as a, you know, writer.

But if her argument is that most MFAs don’t go on to become professional writers… well, isn’t that true of most aspiring writers of all stripes? Anyway, the truth is most MFAs won’t even go on to be teachers or professors, either. I’m not positive, but I have a general sense that most MFAs wind up shivering in squats and playing harmonica for quarters. Either that or they go to law school.

So yes, Shriver is right — this isn’t a pre-professional degree. Getting an MFA is totally frivolous, completely impractical. But that’s kind of the fun of it, isn’t it? When else in your life as a writer, a teacher, or a harmonica playing bum are you ever going to get a chance to focus on pure craft — on writing for writing’s sake, independent of the whims of the market or your editors or an employer? Sure, it’s a little self-indulgent, but no more so than the concept of art itself.

(for another smart take on MFAs, if you’re not sick to death of this topic, see here)

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*Wow, who knew MFA programs were so sordid?

Tags: authors, frivolity, lionel shriver, MFA program, university of idaho

Apr

7 a short sharp shock

By amy ross | Filed in books, writing | 7 comments

The Elegant Variation has an interesting guest post by Marisa Silver on the short story, and its merits relative to the longer fiction narrative.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, as I’m finishing up one class on reading the short story and another on writing them.

I once counted myself among the people Silver describes – the short story haters. At the time, I had a lot of justifications for this position (short stories are unengaging? oblique? pretentious? I forget my specific grievances), but I’ve since concluded that I didn’t like the short story because I hadn’t read any good ones. Thankfully, I’ve been cured of that ailment.

Still, that’s not to say novels and short stories are the same, or give pleasure in the same ways. But what, precisely, is the difference?

One theory I’ve been playing with is that a (good) novel paints character so richly and distinctively, the reader feels as if he actually knows this person. The short story simply doesn’t have time to offer such a deep and thorough investigation of character, so it tends to rely on recognizable character “types” that are instantly grasped and intuitively understood. I don’t mean to suggest that short form writers rely on clichés or “stock” characters – rather that they make use of people who already feel familiar to the reader, because we run across them every day.

For example, even though it’s been years since I read Lolita, I still feel like I know Humbert Humbert as well as if he were an old school friend, or my next door neighbor growing up. (Erm… maybe I shouldn’t have gone there.) Whereas, even though I read What We Talk About When We Talk About Love a couple of weeks ago, I can’t name a single character in the collection – what I have instead is a vivid sense of the kind of people who inhabit Carver’s world. I don’t need to know every detail about his characters, because their situations – crumbling marriages, alcoholism, anger and hopelessness – are universal enough to be instantly understandable.

So, I don’t know about this theory. Maybe all I’ve really said is that Raymond Carver is not Nabokov, and Nabokov is not Carver. But as I work on writing and revising more shorts (and, of course, writing and revising novels), I find myself thinking about which characters belong in which medium.

Anyone else who has dabbled in both forms – have you found any other crucial differences between them? Or want to dispute this one?

Tags: authors, characterization, nabokov, novels, raymond carver, short stories, the mikado, writing

Apr

6 Why Parents Shouldn’t Read YA Fiction

By amy ross | Filed in books | 6 comments

Because it’s not for you.

Because, when you do read it, you produce articles like this one from the Times, bemoaning the fact that you’ve been treated so poorly by the genre. “It’s not fair!” you cry. “I’m a perfectly nice parent — I drive my kid to soccer practice, I produce square and tasty meals, I buy him every new electronic gadget the moment he mentions it… Why am I being depicted as such an ogre?”

One study from the 1970s compared mothers in young adult fiction with the ones in real life, based on statistics from the Census Bureau and the Department of Labor, and concluded that less than 3 percent of the depictions were “realistic”.

Um… okay. And since when are novels required to describe the traumas of life in precisely the proportions that they actually occur? Is it really so surprising that fiction would tend to focus on the extremes of life, rather than its dull reality?

the father in “Once Was Lost” becomes somehow peripheral, his problems more muted and less interesting than his teenage daughter’s.

Right. And you know, there have been any number of novels written about middle aged men, in which the problems of their teenage daughters or granddaughters are, you guessed it — more peripheral and less interesting than the old man’s.

See, when it comes to fiction, there’s this little thing called perspective. YA fiction is not, for the most part, about depicting life the way it really is (indeed, very little fiction has this as a goal). It’s about showing the world the way a teenager sees it. (And sure, fine, not EVERY teenager sees the world this way, not yours certainly — yours recites poems in English class about how you’re his best friend, confidante, and role model, while a Bette Midler song plays in the background.) Is it very likely that a teenager would live in such a cruel world that there is not a single sensible, caring adult to whom she can turn in a crisis? Simply put: no. The world contains a great many tender, generous, capable adults who would be glad to offer guidance and support.

But guess what. That’s not how the world looks when you’re sixteen. For your average disaffected sixteen-year-old, pretty much every adult can be tossed into one of a few piles: petty, cruel, unjust, hypocritical, oblivious, out of touch, stupid, or ineffectual. Don’t take it personally! It’s all part of the growing up process. If kids didn’t go through this phase, they’d still be eating your food and borrowing your car at 37. Is that what you want?

Tags: books, parenting, parents, the parent problem in YA Lit, YA, YA lit, young adult

Apr

2 E-Bards and Print Reviewers

By amy ross | Filed in books, writing | 2 comments

[Criticism] is not a profession and does not stand or fall with any particular business model. Criticism is a habit of mind, a discipline of writing, a way of life — a commitment to the independent, open-ended exploration of works of art in relation to one another and the world around them. As such, it is always apt to be misunderstood, undervalued and at odds with itself. Artists will complain, fans will tune out, but the arguments will never end.

YES. Yes, this. I admit, I have a special soft spot in my heart for A.O. Scott, based on the random fact that he went to my high school (though not at the same time as I did). But that aside, I feel like in all the recent debate about the future of criticism — whether blogs are killing newspapers or will newspapers turn into blogs, and why should anyone trust what some shmoe in a bathrobe* tells them about a book or a movie anyway — in all that hubub, I have been waiting and waiting for someone to express this take on the matter.

All I would add to Scott’s analysis is that criticism is a kind of writing — or, fine, let’s say a “mode of discourse”, so we can include critics who use tv or youtube as their medium. But either way, it’s like any other kind of writing/discourse — the only way to judge it is by how it performs. So I know that a lot of people are shocked — shocked! — that ordinary people are allowed to leave reviews of books and movies and other products on sites like Amazon or Librarything (—>), and worse yet, other innocent consumers who don’t know any better might read these reviews and, horror or horrors, believe them. But such horror misses the point of criticism entirely. Good critics produce interesting criticism, bad critics produce dull criticism. If a review on LibraryThing is well-reasoned, well-researched, eloquent, and fully engages with the material under review and its cultural context, can’t I, as a reader, be trusted to figure that out from reading the review itself? And why shouldn’t I incorporate that review into my understanding of the text, just because the writer doesn’t happen to have a syndicated newspaper column?

But of course, that’s not the real issue at stake. And believe me, I understand that people who write reviews for a living would like to continue to get paid, and thus feel threatened by e-reviews that are produced for fun, not profit. Hey, I’d like to get paid for writing reviews too! But I don’t see why the readers of reviews should be expected to care about such an issue. Let the cream rise to the top — if newspaper reviewers are so much better at this craft than bloggers, they should have nothing to fear from us.

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*and I mean… aren’t like 90% of writers basically shmoes in our bathrobes? Well, personally I wear a sarong to write, but still.

Tags: A.O. Scott, bloggers, nytimes, print vs. blog, reviewers, reviews

Mar

2 Criminal Books…

By amy ross | Filed in books | 2 comments

Not to be confused with crime fiction, which is an entirely different concept.

My dear, talented friend and lit-blogger Maitresse recently translated this commentary by Christophe Claro on the Salon du Livre, and I found it a really compelling way to think about reading.

Why should a book not lead one to commit a crime, when it has so often led its author to the gallows? How can a book be innocent? Who hasn’t dreamt of a book who would change his life? Why must it be changed for the better? [...] Let’s rename the Salon du Livre the Salon of Anything is Possible. Let us stroll down the aisles while saying to ourselves that on each square inch of table sleeps a work which could drive us to rape, kill, fall in love, eat oranges, churn up the foundations, or become president. Let us lift up the veil (it’s outlawed anyway now) and concede the power of the book. Let us bow down before the magnificent or dreadful consequences of reading. Think of Sade, think of Villepin, think of Cadiot, think of Asimov or Adorée Floupette… doesn’t matter which flask as long as you get drunk. To each book its own crime or virtue.

I still remember back in high school, when I first discovered that reading could be dangerous, could be an illicit pleasure. I’d always read a lot of books — whatever came into my hands — but I think of that time as the moment when I became a reader.

Well-meaning school districts and libraries have a tendency to present literature as a form of eating your vegetables — good for you, possibly pleasurable, definitely the way to gain adult approval. It was a great revelation to me that books could be dirty — filthy, even. Better yet, they could teach you about life, about drugs, about revolution, how to build a pipe bomb, how to run a meth lab, and that everything you learned in those other books was lies, lies, lies. Or hell, to eat oranges. (What book does he have in mind? I’m intrigued.)

Tags: books, crime, deviant literature, literature, paris, salon du livre

Mar

3 Nine Billion Names of…

By amy ross | Filed in books, writing | 3 comments

Okay, I don’t have quite that many. Yet.

I’ll admit, I have a bit of a problem with names. I’ve had a few — given names, middle names, nicknames, and the like — over the course of a lifetime, but nothing has ever quite felt like me. And so, pretty much as soon as I started writing seriously, I started thinking about trading up — what would I name myself if I could pick any name in the world?

Plenty of admirable writers throughout history have been known by names other than the ones their parents gave them: Anthony Burgess, Lewis Carroll, Joseph Conrad, George Eliot, Molière, George Orwell, just to name a few of my own favorites. In days past, authors might seek to conceal their identities from fear of political repercussions, scandal, or prejudice. Nowadays, though, pen names aren’t so common. Indeed, the whole concept seems to have fallen into ill-repute — after all, why wouldn’t you use your real name? Are you ashamed of what you write? Or are you ashamed of who you are?

But what if you’re just not wild about your name? What if you just want something a little more glamorous? A little more literary?

There is one problem with picking your own name, though: there doesn’t seem much reason to hold onto it, once it’s lost some of its shine. When my first novel went on submission to editors, I decided to call myself Alma, after Alma Werfel, whom I knew and admired primarily thanks to the Tom Lehrer song. Her name was reasonably close to mine, but more distinctive — and who wouldn’t want to make all modern women jealous?

But when that book didn’t sell, I found myself feeling distanced from the name. I still had a fine future in front of me — Alma, however, was clearly a hack.

For my next novel, I went a different direction. I’d heard a rumor that, even in this day, there were certain books that sold better from male authors, and the thought struck fear into me — what if my brilliant novel was being ignored for no better reason than my sex? Not the most likely theory, but an attractive one, because that was a much easier problem to fix than a sluggish plot. In a nod to Sand and Eliot, I took on George as my new moniker, and sent the second book out.

And when that didn’t take? I’m not going to say it was George’s fault, but he certainly didn’t help, and I’d say we’ve grown rather less fond of each other since the ordeal. So — sorry, George! But it’s off to the pen name graveyard with you.

And now here I am, set to head back out into madness, and I’m trying to change things up a bit. For once, why not stick my own name on something?

Well, it turns out there is one modern reason why an author might want to change her name. My current name brings up 4,980,000 google hits, not one of which is referring to me; Amy Ross is just too damn common in this age of electronic searches. So I’ve solved the problem by rooting around in my family history: Introducing Amy Danziger Ross, who hopefully will have the modern magic combination of being easy to spell, easy to pronounce, easy to remember, and easy to google. (And hey, it wouldn’t hurt if she sold a book this time… I’m tired of coming up with new names.)

Tags: authors, books, noms de plumes, pen names, pseudonyms, what's in a name, writing

Mar

4 Ten Rules

By amy ross | Filed in japan, writing | 4 comments

I’m a little late, but I’ve been meaning to make a few comments about the Guardian’s compilation of Ten Rules of Writing from a host of different authors.

Sure, it’s cute to see what advice various famous authors have, and it never hurts to get a few tips on how to make this lifestyle work. But rules? Don’t most of us become writers exactly because we can’t stand following rules? It’s hard for me to imagine that the world’s next groundbreaking work of fiction is going to come from someone who always colored within the lines.

There just seems to be a lot of hubris for authors to claim they have figured out the secret of writing well, especially when it’s stuff like

Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.
Fine, as long as you’re writing hard-boiled mysteries. Even Hemingway occasionally has people “ask” and “reply”.

Cut (perhaps that should be CUT): only by having no inessential words can every essential word be made to count.
What’s an essential word? Take this too far and suddenly you’ve cut everything… We’ll be left with no literature beyond defibrillator manuals.

Only bad writers think that their work is really good.
I suppose Truman Capote was a hack. (And believe me, the inverse is definitely not true — just because you think your writing is rotten doesn’t mean you’re a secret genius.)

Don’t have children.
Do I even need to comment on this?

Look, Mr. Important Author People, we’re all very impressed with your work, and we’re all very glad you’ve figured out a routine and system that works for you. But don’t assume this is a problem that only needs to be solved once, for everyone.

Oh, but I did rather like this one, from Margaret Atwood:
Take a pencil to write with on aeroplanes. Pens leak. But if the pencil breaks, you can’t sharpen it on the plane, because you can’t take knives with you. Therefore: take two pencils.

Now that’s writing advice! And I’ll keep it in mind on my flight to Japan tomorrow. Of course, I hate pencils and I happen to have invested in airplane-proof pens, so I guess even this rule can’t be extrapolated to everyone…

Tags: authors, japan, Margaret Atwood, ten rules, ten rules for writing, The Guardian, travel, writing

Mar

12 Pretty Hate Machine

By amy ross | Filed in books, writing | 12 comments

Dave Eggers, Wyndham Lewis and Hate.

I have to share this link because it references many delightful things, from early twentieth century avant garde art to Bloomsbury bashing to a book called The Jews: Are they Human? (Though I mean really, being human is so overrated…) But my favorite part of the post was the author’s little google-powered (un)popularity test. Basically, she entered a bunch of authors’ names into google as part of the phrase “I hate _____” and compared how many hits each entry got. This is thought-provoking list:

Mary Karr: 0
Donna Tartt: 0
Ben Kunkel: 0
Marisha Pessl: 1
Ayelet Waldman: 1
Jonathan Franzen: 2
Michael Chabon: 2
Richard Powers: 2
Joan Didion: 4
Elizabeth Wurtzel: 89
Zadie Smith: 102
Jonathan Safran Foer: 120
Rick Moody: 374
David Sedaris: 774
Dave Eggers: 3880

Maria Bustillo’s point is that Dave Eggers is greatly despised by random people on the internet. But of course, what it mostly seems to indicate (as Mark Athitakis points out) is that Dave Eggers is more famous and actively talked-about than many other contemporary writers. Which is what intrigues me — can fame be measured in the number of people willing to publicly loathe you? It makes some sense — Donna Tartt (to pick a name from the list at random) is pretty famous, and probably has at least a few haters out there. But would anyone come out on a website and say specifically, in writing, that they hate her? They might be tempted, but then feel bad… how sad it would be for her to google herself one morning and be confronted with their pocket of vitriol. So people keep mum.

But someone like Eggers — you figure, if he googles himself (and surely he does three times daily), he will see a LOT of sites before he finds this one, and most of them will be saying very positive things. So even if he does eventually stumble across such a post, he can probably take the blow to his ego.

So in that sense, it’s sort of telling — at what point do you become famous enough not simply to have haters, but to have haters who believe that you are sufficiently famous that there can be no harm in bashing you on the internet? I’m not sure, but I’ve just decided that this is the level of fame I am going to shoot for. This is my new ambition.

(As it happens, there’s already one site containing the words “I hate George Ross” online, but of course, it’s not referring to me. Should I claim it anyway? Only 3880 to go until I’m more famous than Dave Eggers.)

Tags: authors, Dave Eggers, Donna Tartt, fame, hate, Marissa Pessl

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